Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Blog Post #3 Let's talk Behavior
Think about the social behaviors, appropriate, or not, that your students have been displaying the first couple of weeks of your placement! How might you address those that are inappropriate? How can you use those appropriate skills they have to teach them new appropriate skills. I believe strongly that inappropriate behaviors are social skill deficits- how does this impact how you might teach your students appropriate social skills in order to address their inappropriate behaviors?
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In reflecting on inappropriate social behaviors and how to address them, I immediately thought of two particular clients that I have been working with at TURN. Tessa is intellectually disabled and has limited speech abilities. She displays her emotions through physical interactions such as hugging, stroking, and handholding. Often times her hugs are accompanied with licks, and she tends to turn hugs into opportunities to rest on people. It bothers many of her peers at the center and consequently they don’t want to interact with her very much. I’ve tried to work with her on ways that she can show appropriate affection by giving positive affirmation when she makes good choices. When she gives short hugs I tell her “thank you for the hug” or “that was so nice.” When she licks, I remind her that our friends don’t like to be licked, and when she tries to lay on people I tell her that she needs to stay in her own chair. Another client, Casey, has a very outgoing and flirtatious personality. He tends to fixate on some of the female clients and, in an attempt to get their attention, gets in their faces and invades their personal space. After many failed attempts to remind him that he needs to give his female friends space, and if they ask him to move he needs to, we decided to help him get positive attention from the girls without resorting to pestering. We took a group, including Tessa and Casey, outside to play a game of pass. With Casey and Tessa by my side, I was able to help them participate in the game and behave appropriately. Once away from the girls he had been pestering, Casey was able to get along well with everyone and enjoy the game. We asked him to pass the ball to everyone as he was one of the better throws, and he really responded to the positive attention. The girls who had be so bothered by him earlier we laughing and joking with him by the end of the game. He was able to pick a flower off a nearby bush and give it to a girl then return to his seat, and she reacted with pleasure and gratitude. In both cases, Tessa and Casey’s social behaviors were managed and improved by teaching them appropriate skills and giving them positive feedback. These skills will need to be reinforced every time I meet with them to ensure change.
ReplyDeleteMindi Cella
It sounds like you took advantage of the opportunity and taught some very appropriate social skills, great work!
DeleteOne of the little boys struggles to sit still and often speaks without raising his hand. He has the tendency to rush through assignment and in his hurry makes mistakes. He does want to do well and please his teachers, but gets very upset when he gets in trouble. Sometimes he will go back to his seat, put his head on his desk and pout. I remember when I was in elementary school, one of the teachers had a sign on her desk that read, “Anything worth doing, is worth doing well.” I believe that as a teacher it is my duty to help kids see that trying their best is fun and rewarding. However, it is also my job to help kids understand that full success will not always happen on the first try and some skills will require practice. This ground work will help students do their work, but not be upset if the desired result is not immediate. Another skill that I believe will help this particular child and all children is good communication. I need to teach my students how to talk to me and their peers if the situation is not going in a way they are comfortable with. One of the ways I could teach this social skill would be to role play with my students. I would give them a situation and then have then tell how they would react. After we had done several role plays I could relate this to their work, or other areas where they struggle to control their temper. This would help children see that pouting or throwing fits is not the right way to get attention or communicate what they need. While we teach what skills are not appropriate, it is equally, if not more important to complement good behavior. As we talked about in class, praise is underused. I will focus on finding the strengths of all students and use positive reinforcement to keep those skills happening. Also when students are having a hard second it might be useful to remind the student of how well they did earlier in the day to keep them focused on the fact that they can succeed.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have some great ideas in helping this student feel successful. But, more importantly, that you are considering the social skill that needs to be taught.
Delete-Daniel Newman
ReplyDeleteWell, inappropriate behavior is why these kids are in the Detention Center in the first place. These kids do not get to see many examples of appropriate behavior from their peers and maybe not from their families either. The center staff tends to just tell them to stop with a stern voice and usually the kids are obedient. That is how a detention center works, with obedience. The staff will talk and listen to the kids and show genuine concern for the kids, but they expect immediate obedience when they demand it. I can not blame them, a system like this one needs order. Us as teachers do not have much to do with their behavior and in fact we are not supposed to get involved in any behavioral issues. We are their to help these kids continue their education, not to change their behavior. That does not mean we do not influence some of it. Modeling good behavior for them is very helpful. Working as a group with my classmates and showing the kids how we listen to each other and respect each others opinions, is a great example for them of how adults interact. Asking them questions about ignorant statements they make is really fun for me and helps them think about the reasoning and meaning of what they say. 'Why is that stupid?' Much like myself, these kids want attention. A good way to avoid inappropriate behavior is just listen to them, help, and be close by be available.
I agree that one of the best way to teach the students about behavior is to model appropriate behavior. It might also be a good opportunity to talk about ways to avoid getting into trouble if the focus is on learning appropriate social skills. This is definitely your opportunity to teach!
DeleteAt youth impact the children and staff there are a lot like a family, they all get along very well. While I am there I hardly ever see any inappropriate behavior. The extent to what I see is that there is one needy child that wants all my attention while I am there, even if she see's that I am working with another child. When this happens I acknowledge her, and let her know that I am busy with another student, but I will come and spend time with her and make a project with her as soon as I am done. I see a lot of relationships between the older children and the younger children, even if they don't know each other from any where else. They treat the younger kids, as if they were younger siblings. The one girl that I was speaking of is younger and she does fine if there are other children doing an activity with her, but if they get bored, then she comes to me for attention. I think another way to help with this behavior would be to invite the other children to come and do things with her. Model to her how to invite people to participate, and then ask her to try inviting someone over herself, this way she can develop these skills, and feel wanted. That would help with the behavior.
ReplyDeleteThis is a perfect opportunity to teach this young girl to seek out peers, rather than adults. Inviting others to play or to ask if you can play, is a skill that takes a lot of time and practice to develop.
DeleteThis week for Hope Kids, we had an activity in the park. There were two of us that showed up to Volunteer and one family with two children. They were the same family that went to the first activity at the library. It was fun to see them again and interact with them and get to know them better. T was the girl that showed up for the activity. She is nine years old and very polite and well behaved. The only behavior I can think of that could be worked on that I saw was she likes to win at everything, and her sibling sort-of catered to letting her win. When her mother saw this, she quickly stepped in and told him that he needed to let his sister experience what it was like to not win. Her bother, we will call him N for the purpose of this post, was also very well behaved. he was 12 years old and very polite. We played frisbee, soccer and four square. We had so much fun. Afterwards, I offered to get ice cream for everyone and we went to Farrs ice cream to get it. Both children were very appreciative and thanked me several times. The children I interacted with at this activity were very well behaved and did not need any help with their social skills.
ReplyDeleteFor the purpose of this post, I can talk about when I did peer-tutoring in high school. I had a student we will call S that believed he was Superman and I was his Lois Lane. He would fly down the hall and if anyone as standing next to me, he would knock them away and say they were the bad guys and he was protecting me. We had to talk about his on several occasions about not pushing people away. We explained that it hurt people and that they weren't the bad guys. He finally understood and stopped doing it.
It sounds like you had a great time at the park with the Hope Kids family. Also, that was very generous of you to take them out for ice cream, I am sure they were very grateful.
DeleteI absolutely LOVED your Superman and Lois Lane story! Thanks for sharing.
I believe strongly that inappropriate behaviors are social skill deficits- how does this impact how you might teach your students appropriate social skills in order to address their inappropriate behaviors?
ReplyDeleteThere are a ton of different social behaviors that occur at Youth Impact. There are some kids that act out and some that stay quiet and don't really show emotions. Given such a wide variety of kids and their actions it is very easy to notice the social behaviors and most of them are inappropriate. There has been a lot of swearing, and aggressive talk. Sometimes I have no idea what to do! There have been times I have felt stuck, trying to decide how to react to the situation. For instence, I was playing cards with a group of girls and one of them was being very bossy. Then she started getting mad at all the girls and changing the rules. She started yelling at the other girls if things weren't going her way and one by one the other girls didn't want to play anymore. She always seemed to win and the other girls started losing interest in the game. I wanted to address the situation without singling her out and getting mad at her. I wanted to say something that would make the game more fair and get the other girls more involved in the game. So after another round of her winning I said, "How about we play a new game? Its called Kings Tail" Kings Tail is a game that me and my friends made up when we were in jr.high. I knew that none of the girls would no how to play it so that it would be a fresh start and everyone would be a beginner. I taught them the new game and everyone had a more equal chance to win. After the game was over it was time for the kids to go to lunch. As all the other girls walked away I talked to M, the girl that was being rude and bossy, and I told her how much fun it was once everyone started playing. She agreed and said that she wanted to learn more new games. I told her that I would come back next Wednesday and teach them a new card game.This made the whole situation a lot better and eliminated the aggressive behavior. Having appropriate social skills is crucial in the real world. As a teacher I plan to teach my students about social skills and practice using them in the classroom.
On a side note: The girls that play cards say that they play almost every day before lunch. That means from 10 to 11:30 they play cards. The cards they use are torn to shreds. They are bent and sticky and some of them are so worn you can barely see the numbers. This was my first time playing cards with them so I was so surprised when I saw the condition of the cards. I had to hid my shock because I didn't want to offend them but the cards where disgusting!! After I took a second to take in the fact that they play with these cards everyday, I calmly said, "You guys need some new cards huh?". All of them said YES! And then one girl said, I could donate my deck that I have at home. After a pause she said, "but they are my only deck in the house and I don't want them ruined. We will have to be careful if I bring them okay?" It was so humbling to hear that she was willing to give her only deck that is probably the only cards her family has. I spoke up and said, "I have a deck that I can bring, you leave yours at home!" She smiled and all the girls were happy. I think I am going to go buy 3 or 4 decks for them and surprise them next time. I am really glad that I chose Youth Impact because I have never really seen kids like these. I have lived in Syracuse UT my whole life and I am very sheltered. It is really good for me to see these kids and how grateful they are for a deck of cards, something I wouldn't even have cared about as a child. I am really grateful for this experience.
What a great experience Kennedy! It sounds like you addressed the behavior of the girl who wanted to win every game quite well. By teaching them a new game you completely leveled the playing field. And, I really like that you took the time after to address her 1:!.
DeletePS I also have several decks of cards at my house that I can donate, if they still need some. If you need them, let me know and we can make arrangements to get them to you.
Ashlee Scott
ReplyDeleteI feel there is a close and strong bond between the kids at Youth Impact. As I have been volunteering the last few weeks I am overwhelmed with the love the kids have for each other. I see several older kids interacting and playing with the younger kids. I feel there is a strong sense of family unity.
I was helping out in the garden area this week. Several of the kids helping me were all related to each other. They also had older siblings, cousins, and uncles who had attended Youth Impact. The kids were proud of their family members and the examples they had set for them. I feel these positive examples has had an affect on the kids behavior in a positive way and has encouraged them to be involved in Youth Impact.
I love the kids at Youth Impact! This experience has helped me realize different behavior patterns. I also can see how these kids are influenced by others. I feel a positive example and feedback will help any child succeed in the classroom.
Ashlee, I am so glad that things are going so well with you at Youth Impact. I think it is great that there is such a strong bond between the kids at YI. I completely agree that setting a positive example is one of the best ways to teach.
DeleteDuring the playdate in the park activity, there were only two children that showed up and participated with the HopeKids event. During our time playing with them, we got to interact with them on another level than in a usual classroom setting. The two children, who are siblings, were very well behaved, very polite, and very energetic. One thing I noticed during our activity was that the little girl, who I'll call Student A, likes to be in control and wants to win. She never really got super upset or so irritated when she didn't win, but she would make some sort of comment to us which would then make us want to help her win next time so she feels good about herself. Other than that, there weren't any behavior issues. Like mentioned earlier though, that could have been due to the fact that we were outside, running around, and it wasn't a usual classroom setting.
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting that she would state that you felt the need to 'help her win' so she could feel better about herself. What other ways could you have helped her feel better about herself, even when she did lose?
DeleteWell the first thing that comes to my mind is when we play baseball at the park. This is the second time I have been at the park with these kids. I have noticed that the kids at Youth Impact have very good social behavior while at the park. It surprised me at first because it is easy to get into the game and become really competitive but all of the older kids are very encouraging to the younger kids. I remember one instance when a little boy got out or something and one of the older kids was a little upset. Another older boy stepped up and said “give him a break he is just a little kid”. It was very nice to see the older kids looking out for these younger kids. Also, before the park the same little boy for the last blog I talked about wanted to play Nintendo. We couldn’t get it to work and he kept trying to ask one of the volunteers but he was busy with something else. Another little boy and girl saw what we were doing and came over to try and help. I thought it was great that two kids saw that we were struggling and came to help. I think it is important to show good examples like these and really take notice in them because by recognizing things like this, it will set a good example for the other kids. Also by sitting down with kids, wherever it might be, and showing them that acts of kindness can go a long way and it doesn’t have to stop at one act, can help build these skills. There hasn’t been a whole lot of inappropriate behavior, some words said that maybe shouldn’t be said, but all the kids here seem to know that swearing isn’t allowed, and even though it might slip out I feel that it is pretty under control. Addressing acts that are inappropriate as soon as they are done is the best way to handle a situation. By letting it go on, the child will think that it is ok to act a certain way. Youth Impact has really impressed me because they are really good at enforcing the rules and letting the children know what is ok and what isn’t. When we were playing baseball, throwing the bat was getting to be a problem. If you were told twice it was an automatic out. I think the best way to correct inappropriate behavior is by sticking to your word and letting them know why it isn’t acceptable. Saying you’re out because you threw the bat again and it will hurt somebody is a great way to show the kids what is ok and what isn’t. For me it is very important to make it clear what is appropriate and what isn’t and working with those who struggle and not giving up or just letting things slide.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree, addressing the inappropriate behavior as soon as it occurs can be so important. And more importantly, taking the time to teach the appropriate replacement behavior is critical.
DeleteThere is one girl, probably 9 or 10, at Youth Impact that I have observed the three times that I have visited, and often I see her in the midst of some disagreement or another. On one occasion, we were going to the park and i rode in the same van as her. On the ride, there, she was arguing with some older girls and she was very loud and outspoken. Later, while at the park, I watched as she got frustrated because a younger girl had the bat that she wanted to use while playing softball, and she began yelling at the girl to give it to her. The little girl did give it to her, but I heard her say later, "all she had to do was say please." One other incident was while a group were playing pool. I could tell that there was some frustration between her and another girl. I can see by observing that she is somewhat confrontational and contention seeking. She will get in other people's face in situations that she isn't happy with the outcome. It is interesting to think about behavior issues being a social skill deficit. In these cases, I think this little girl must come from a rough home, from the information I have gathered, and I think this is how she has learned to cope with situations. As an educator, I will have the opportunity to help students gain on some of these deficit and hopefully be an influence for good.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like it might be helpful to take a few minutes and teach her a more appropriate way to ask for those items that she wants, what to do when the answer is no and finally, how to gain attention by engaging in appropriate behavior. If she's having difficulty my guess is she hasn't been taught the correct skill.
ReplyDeleteI tried addressing an inappropriate behavior on a number of occasions. I have had successes and failures. My first epic failure was when I was with a group of teenagers and a boy said something profoundly inappropriate. I was shocked he knew that kind of language. My emotional response was “do not say that in front of me.” He said “I can and will say whatever I feel like.” Reflecting on the situation I know I should have approached the situation more calmly and made it less about me and more about the environment. If I had pointed out that it was against the rules rather than amplify the fact that he had offended me perhaps he would have changed his behavior. My success story was when I was with a group of younger kids. They were complaining about sharing. One boy got so frustrated about the situation that he started breaking apart his masterpiece and throwing the pieces at the other children’s sculptures to damage them. I put my hand on his shoulder and calmly said his name and said “we don’t throw things here. If you want to put away your project this is where it goes.” He immediately stopped what he was doing and we cleaned up the project together. I understand that social pressures are a big part of why kids act in negative ways sometimes. In my failure experience I believe I gave the boy the reaction he wanted and that was not a good thing. In my success experience I was calm and quiet which was effective with that boy because I used his name and offered an alternative activity.
ReplyDelete